Okay, I actually forgot about me starting this...perhaps I thought I was dreaming. I lost my father suddenly in December and been trying to come to terms with his sudden loss. Well, I am still forty and fabulous with a touch of sadness. Now one year older ;)
Dating world got smaller...I have been dating "Kyle" now for six months. He is great in so many ways. It is interesting to see men now in their 40s. Not too many years ago, I thought this decade of life to be old...balding, spare tires and wrinkles. Ha! Some are, some are not. I myself don't feel old at all save for a few physical limitations of going over a 12 foot wall (I did get over with help!) But on the other side, it is fascinating to see how they simply don't grow up either. Not saying the Kyle is immature. He has had many responsibilities thrown at him and I can see how people want to stay young and carefree. So much to learn still about themselves and what they really want. Giving Kyle some credit, he is sweet, thoughtful, caring, handy, hard working, and loves me dearly. He is also good to my Jack.
The M word has not come up, nor will it from me. It will long long long long long time before I would even consider it. We have separate housing and it suits me just fine for the time being. Still so skittish of commitments where that word is a fine line between mental institution and walking down the aisle (again). Jaded. Through and through. I used to be a big old softy romantic, flowers swept me off my feet....
So I guess this blog that started out as a one woman's insight to dating in her forties, single mom has taken a turn. There is so much I have learned in all these years. There is so much I need more to learn and understand....or consider. The heart can hold gallons of love for so many. I just hope mine isn't too closed off to allow me to trust again.
